Dealing with Grief

There have been three major times in my life when I have dealt with overwhelming grief. The first was the death of my 49-year-old father when I was a teenager. Then came the divorce from my children’s father. I was 36. The most recent was the onset of my then 20-year-old son’s mental illness, with its accompanying tumult.

You may be familiar with the 5 stages of grief, but I have listed them here for your review.

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Sadness or Depression
5. Acceptance

I learned an interesting fact today. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who first introduced these stages, interviewed people who were dying, and these 5 stages described their process of grief. I point this out, lest you think there is something wrong with you if you don’t experience all 5 of these stages in grieving for a loved one.

Since I have had 3 distinctly different experiences of the grieving process, as well as many others I haven’t shared—both mine and others—I can say for sure that the process of grieving is a very individual one, and that there is no general timetable or progression one must go through in dealing with grief.

The first, most intense weeks of grief were the times when I felt most alone and in need of guidance and compassion. With each grief event, I learned about myself and the grieving process and became more proficient at seeking out the help I needed. For me, it was crucial to have a fellow human being to whom I could express my grief. I believe that to be the “normal” way to process grief. However, I know others who have been alone in the process, and seemed to prefer that mode of being.

What I’m trying to say here is that whatever your process, you are doing it right for you. If consulting a list of stages doesn’t seem right for you, don’t think twice about doing it your own way.

You can hasten your healing by calling or emailing for your complimentary 45 minute consultation. There’s no point in dealing with grief alone if you can access the appropriate help. Please call today!


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Never Too Late To Bloom

Never Too Late To Bloom