Getting Over Victim Mentality

Getting over victim mentality isn’t like getting over a cold, which will last two weeks if you don’t treat it, and 14 days if you do. It’s more like this: You consciously have to realize you have it, and that’s not always apparent. Read yesterday’s post to get a feel for the idea, and decide if you actually have the syndrome.

Next, assuming you decide you have this mentality, try to catch yourself while you are having victim-like thoughts, and change them, like this:

VM: If I didn’t have so many headaches, I would try to get a better job.
NM (New Mentality): I’m going to get a better job. I will be feeling better soon.

VM: My parents messed me up so bad. They’re idiots. They don’t deserve my love. I’m going to ignore them for the rest of my life.
NM: My parents did the best they could. It wasn’t very good, but they didn’t know any better. I’m just going to forgive them. I know I’ll feel better that way.

The way out, in short, is to concentrate on thinking and feeling you are OK. Affirmations help in this work. It takes courage to start, but it’s so worth it in the end. Some of my favorites are:

I’m beautiful, capable and lovable.
I have a lot of really good friends who care about me.
I believe the universe is plotting to do me good today.

There is a lot more you can do to start feeling you are OK, but this is a place to start which everyone can relate to. When you first start repeating the affirmation, it will feel strange, and you will need to persist through an internal dialog which is protesting that it isn’t the truth; at least that’s what happened for me. Pretty soon, you will start to believe it, and it will turn out to be true, too.

A word to those who have been victimized in a terrible way by rape, abuse or other serious trauma. I’m not trying to make light of your experience. I’m primarily writing for those with less serious issues. I truly believe, however, that no matter the seriousness of your trauma, you can heal from its effects. I strongly urge you to find professional help. Don’t try to go it alone.

Back to the cure for victim mentality. After repeating your affirmations for a few weeks, you will find yourself having more positive thoughts automatically. You will see the world differently, and the world will actually treat you differently.

Let me know how it’s going. There’s a huge payoff for feeling OK about yourself, once you start to conquer the victim mentality.



Never Too Late To Bloom

Never Too Late To Bloom