Late Bloomers — Why Are We Late?

images“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” Henry David Thoreau

All your life you have stepped to the beat of someone else’s drum—not your own. You have come to a point in your life where you know, or perhaps only suspect, that you hear within you a different beat. You have always heard this “different drummer” as Thoreau called it. You just didn’t know how to (or dare to) step that way.

Now, life has a way of presenting situations and truths until we catch on, and learn the intended lesson. In my case, as I relate in my book Never Too Late to Bloom: Becoming the Woman You Were Meant to Be, I tried many careers, localities, friends and lovers, including a couple of husbands, before listening to my particular drummer.

So I know firsthand why we’re late. I believe it’s a universal trait of the late bloomer. We are paying attention to—I won’t say the wrong thing, but, well, other things. In the case of women in particular, we have been taught to pay attention to our parents, then our husbands and our children.  Others come first. We love them, of course, and we have many obligations to fulfill in regard to our homes and families. It’s biological and psychological.  All of the late bloomers I wrote about were women.

How this transformation takes place may vary from person to person. The amount of time necessary to discover one’s own uniqueness varies considerably. Sometimes an event such as a death or divorce may precipitate the discovery. More often than not, the perception will begin gradually with advancing age.

Unhappiness, restlessness, and lack of motivation are some of the clues that may announce our impending bloom. It may be, to mix metaphors, a little like entering a cocoon. This is ultimately wonderful, since we know a butterfly will emerge.

The ultimate knowing about this “late” blooming is that it’s not late at all. It’s right on time. The life experiences up to the point of transformation have helped to define who we are not, and are therefore essential to our blossoming at the right time for us.

 


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Never Too Late To Bloom

Never Too Late To Bloom