Loving Yourself

loving-yourself
I’m lovable

I have known for a long time that loving myself was my best route for healing all the hurt, guilt and sorrow of my younger days, and for dodging and softening the “slings and arrows” down to the present moment. What about you? Is loving yourself on your priority list?

Some people confuse loving yourself with self-love. I define the two differently. Self love is selfishness—always thinking of yourself first, wanting people to pay attention to you and having an undeserved inflated opinion of yourself. Loving yourself is paying attention to your needs, listening to your heart and treating yourself at least as well as you would treat your best friend.

I used to call myself an idiot when I made a mistake or forgot something. Then I realized that I wouldn’t say that to my friend, so why was I saying it to myself? It seems to be a form of self-hatred, stemming from a childhood in which I didn’t quite measure up to the perfectionistic standards of my parents.

How do you know you are loving yourself?

Here are a couple of examples:

Someone speaks unkindly or thoughtlessly to you, and you feel hurt. You listen to your heart, know you feel hurt, and respond in way that acknowledges your hurt, but isn’t intended to hurt to other person. “Ouch, what you just said didn’t feel good.”

A project is due at work and instead of pulling an all-nighter to meet the deadline, which would not be good for your health (or the project either), you decide to ask for more time from your supervisor. Better yet, you have paced yourself throughout the project and asked for help way ahead of time so you have no trouble meeting the deadline. In either case, you feel good about doing the best you can at any given time and don’t give yourself a rough time over it.

I’m sure you can give me many examples of loving and not loving yourself, so you know without my telling you, which feels better to you.

And when you feel better, the world is a better place—not just for you, but for the rest of us too.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.



Never Too Late To Bloom

Never Too Late To Bloom